One Shade of Gray here -----
I'm gonna talk about that shade of Gray today.. well Grey, depending on where you live depends on the spelling.
Just in case you are racing around trying to play dodge ball with any Narcissistic behavior today, here's the down and dirty as to how to cut off Supply.
This is a sexy topic to help you stop being the supply house to the narcissist in your life. May I introduce to you--- the sexiest thing on the planet --- THE GREY ROCK!
Now how could a grey rock be that sexy and exciting?
Well, it's not and it's not supposed to be. The Grey Rock Method has been around since about 2012 by a mental health blogger by the name of Skylar. This is also called "Grey Rocking". This is a unique method to manage narcissistic and toxic behavior and is very different from "ghosting" though. This is the idea that when a narcissist tries to "hook you" back into their toxic need for supply, you disengage and become Uninterested. You "charge neutral" and remain boring about it just like an uninteresting grey rock you might not even give a second glance to in the middle of the road.
What does that look like in real time? If the narcissist in your life comes at you and gaslights you... the grey rock response is, "Ok, I hear you" ...and then you walk away. The more vague and uninterested you are while they are flipping out, the better off you are in protecting your own emotional well being.
So really quick if need to get going..here are some tricks to take with you the next time things get out of control. Honestly, you can do this all the time if you are trying to leave your Narcissist. When you disengage from the Narcissist, several things can happen (that's in the next blog post). But the best thing about Grey Rocking is that YOU take back your power and control from the Narc and start to find yourself.
- Give short neutral answers. Don't over explain yourself. It's none of their business what you think about it. An explanation that is like a lengthy novel will only give them fuel for gaslighting!
- Avoid eye contact. This will help reduce the emotional intensity of the interaction.
- Whatever you do... don't justify your position on anything you say. Refer to #1.
- Change the subject if a Narcissist tries to bait you into an argument and return to neutral.
- Walk away.
- Fight the damn urge to get deeply involved.
- Go no contact as much as possible.
The last one is the hardest one to take to heart. If you are used to explaining yourself and apologize for everything you say, this won't work. You have to catch yourself before you dive in too deep. You are a sexy grey rock! If you are unsure if you are able to do this or not, you can take baby steps with it.
Because the crazy part about narcissistic people who are flipping out is that they THRIVE on big, loud, boisterous arguments where you are cussing at each other as much as they thrive on attention that is peaceful, kind and loving. Remember that ANYTHING that comes out of your mouth is put into the supply house that gets stored and most likely is used against you at a later date.
Focus on your own needs and well-being: This means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. You should also spend time with supportive friends and family members.
It is important to remember that cutting off narcissistic supply is a process, and it may take time to see results. Be patient with yourself and don't give up. With time and effort, you can break free from the cycle of abuse and build a healthy life for yourself.
It is important to remember that cutting off narcissistic supply is a process, and it may take time to see results. Be patient with yourself and don't give up. With time and effort, you can break free from the cycle of abuse and build a healthy life for yourself.
So stay sexy ...and go gray!