Psychological Profile of Violent Narcissistic Femme Fatales
Even though violent narcissists are primarily statistically portrayed as a male characteristic, women are also a large part of this psychopath population. Violent Female narcissists at the core carry the identical traits of narcissism but the steps leading up to physical violence occur in a slightly different manner.
The difference with psychopathic women narcissists is that they commit acts of relational aggression. They use passive aggressive tactical behavior as a means to control. If they feel they are losing control over you, women will become more relationally aggressive escalating to physical violence. They are masters at manipulating circumstance. They are masters at bait and switching blame, too. They are charming enough to talk their way out of law enforcement jams when they were the ones attacking their male counterparts. Unfortunately, the perception of male abusers works to a women’s advantage as most law enforcement will feel as though the “man” in the relationship was abusive which triggered the crazy in the narcissistic violent woman.
Relational aggression can also be known as social bullying. Psychopathic women narcissists will attack and sabotage their victim’s social standing, personal relationships and try and manipulate how others see their victim (with false claims trying to expose them for something that would hurt them). Back in the day, this is known as emotional black mail. This type of relational aggression will worsen with time. A psychopathic narc women may threaten to expose their victims and not act on it initially. However to wear that victim down, they follow through and decimate their character regardless of any consequences it may bring to themselves. Anytime a woman psycho. Narcissist feels as though she is losing control over her victim, she will ramp up the relational aggression and attack the victim where it hurts them the most which resorts to physical harm, destruction of property or physical destruction of anything that is closeby (including other people).
If a psychopathic women narc is on the fence of completely snapping or has a fear of going to jail, she may resort to cyber-bullying and forcing their victims to “write” hate speech to the individuals in which she is trying to extricate from the victims life. Online and social media is a women narc’s best friend when it comes to spewing hatred and vitriol. They will have into the victims email, pretend to be the victim and send hate mail to the victims contact. As we all know that kind of hacking is illegal. If they can’t hack your email, they will try and force you (with great success) to hand over the passwords to your computer.
We have to remember that the basics for abuse still exist in these black widow psychopathic narcissistic abusive relationships. Controlling your life and circumstances creates isolation and outside influences so your self esteem is worn down to acceptance of being trapped and hopeless with no where to go. Isolating you from outside influences is the venus fly trap for this black widow.
Narcissists in general (no matter what their gender identity) salivate at any chance to launch a smear campaign against you as their target. Those smear campaigns can last for decades. This wearing down of your soul as a victim is like death by a thousand papercuts.
By the way, everything mentioned in this chapter will have a chapter countering these topics on how to handle it as you leave safely.
Women Narcissists are also unique as they take coercive control to the extreme. First things first! Coercive control is illegal in the USA. Other countries take coercive control much more seriously. Many people don’t know that you can call the police for legitimate coercive control and intimidation. There are criteria that have to be met to be convicted of that crime. However, most states have a prison stay and a fine for it.
Meanwhile what is coercive control? Coercive control is a pattern of consistent acts of assault, threats, intimidation or other abuse that is premeditated to harm, punish or frighten their victim. Unfortunately, as you may know, coercive control works. This controlling behavior will isolate you, exploit you and deprive you of your independence and regulate your every day comings and goings.
Women narcs will threaten you if you don’t give them your location, they will emotionally black mail you by exposing a lie about you. Did you, in order to save yourself from social embarrassment, financial torture or abuse, hand over the keys to your autonomy to try and manage their behavior? Does this sound familiar to you?
Have you been coerced to give your location and whereabouts every second of every minute of every day? Has your narc deprived you of your autonomy to do as you please without scrutiny? Has she watched over every second of your life? These narcissistic women hounds of hell will hunt you down. They have a tendency to stalk you at every turn. And when you try and turn off your location or disappear off their radar they will abuse you in some fashion or form.
You may have forgotten that you will never be able to control someone else’s behavior. And there is no such thing as damage control when it comes to psychopathic women narcs. These poisonous medusas have absolutely no fear about going to jail or doing what they need to do so they don’t lose their main narcissistic supply. If you look at her, she will turn you to stone. And Guys, you will have to be Perseus to your Medusa to defeat her.
Recall the myth of Medusa: by looking into Medusa’s eyes, she could turn you into stone. She was defeated as Perseus’ clever solution was to use his shield as a mirror (given to him by the Goddess of Love - Athena) so that he could see Medusa without looking at her directly. She looked at HERSELF in the mirror…. And turned herself into stone. If that is not the definition of love conquering all, I don’t know what is!
The Myth of Medusa is so appropriate because the worst fear of any female narcissist is being exposed. Perseus held a “mirror” up to her face by exposing her ways. Perseus still had quite a fight on his hands to defeat her…but Exposing Medusa to herself is what ultimately made for the “big win.” Perseus ended up cutting off Medusa’s head.
Psychopathic women narc are sneaky bitches who can manipulate circumstances to deprive you of food. If they want to starve you, they will start an argument just before dinner, go off the rails, you lose your appetite and then she will throw all the food away. Name calling, professional sabotage, verbal abuse are also in the psychopathic woman narc’s repertoire. If emotional manipulation, verbal abuse, threats and intimidation don’t work. She will graduate and escalate to physical aggression.
Also I’m not trying to put fear into you but in a clinical sense, the behavioral aspects for murderers and narcissists are rather similar. Psychopathic Murderers and Narcissists use the same mind games to manipulate circumstances to perpetrate abuse and violence on their victims. Women tend to be the Charming Psychopathic Narcissists.
Most men love a charming, sexy, sweet intelligent woman. The kind of woman who gives you compliments, attention and encouragement. The love mask is on and won’t come off for quite awhile. The problem? You won’t now if she is hiding violent narcissistic tendences. The first killer that comes to mind who was known as “charming” was Ted Bundy. They are charming and have the ability to get you to trust them. Throw in a few days of great sex..and you’re hooked…Line…and sinker.
However, definitively predicting who will become a psychopathic violent narcissist who commits acts of violence is still impossible. There are traits often associated with psychopaths and narcissists that are very close on the spectrum. If they lived in the same neighborhood, psychopaths and narcissists would be neighbors encroaching on each other’s property.
Here are the down and dirty similarities
Emotional Detachment & lack of empathy. Psychopaths are narcs have arrested ability to share feelings of others. They place a different value on human life and regard it objectively. They consider other humans as objects as a means to their own personal gain. They may view targets (you) as a tool, not a person with emotional capacity and a life that is worth living autonomously on your own.
Callousness and unemotional. In a psychotic break you will feel the wrath of a psychopath as easily as you can with a narcissist. But in every day life when they are stewing in their own lack of mental health, you will see callousness and a lack of remorse for hurting people. If they are pre-meditating an emotional abuse assualt upon you they don’t care how you feel. As long as they are able to rage to meet their own end, they don’t care if they hurt you……and in hindsight feel justified for hurting you over all.
Your Medusa will also be a liar. They will distort the truth and convince you they are telling the truth. And you will never be able to tell if she is lying about other people because she wont give you or allow you the change to check in without outside sources to figure out the truth. If you try to get to the truth of the matter, she will pull out her isolating tactics and mix it in with relational aggression and stop you from knowing the truth at all.
Your Narcissistic Black Widow will be the life of the party in public….same with psychopathic murderers, too. They garner trust to gain control.
They have low impulse control. They will go to any means to keep control over you. Their anxiety attacks look alot like stalking and driving around to try and see where you are, hacking into your email and other devices to keep track of you and act out without considering the consequences of their actions.They will put GPS trackers on your vehicle and track you location. They are desparate to know everything to keep you under their thumb. The more information that have about you as you are going about your day, the more they can use it against you to control you. If they fear going to Jail, you may be able to de-escalate them…..but don’t do it without the police being there.
Your Psycho Narcissist will have a keen disregard for safety and be reckless. They endanger others emotionally and do not care!
Their need to admiration comes in the form of taking credit for everything the two of you do together. You are just a dog on a leash to them in social settings ..and your job in social settings is to make them look and feel good. You are invisible to them.
The takeaway from this chapter is that psychopathic narcissistic women are a dangerous combination of personality disorders. They are deeply disturbed individuals whose character traits are shared between psychopaths and narcissistic abusers. They are most certainly unpredictable and can be dangerous.
Here’s one thing that I highly encourage you to understand. If you are living with a psycho narc, you HAVE TO FOCUS ON WHAT ISN’T HAPPENING in order to keep yourself sane. Don’t say “what if”. That thinking will continue to keep you in the abuse. However, this chapter, as hard as it is to digest will hopefully help you understand the mind of a psychopathic narcissistic (wo)man to be able to leave once and for all.
This is the worst part of coercive control.
