Rinse. Repeat.
Gaslighting! This is what happens when you try to reason with a Narcissist and forget that everything that comes out of their mouth is narcissistic supply (that is feeding their addiction for emotional support).
Gaslighting: Narcissists will pretty much deny anything that will put you in a negative light. Gaslighting is a word that is being tossed around quite a bit these days. So let's dive into what it is and what it isn't.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that involves manipulating someone into questioning their own sanity or reality. The term gaslighting comes from the 1944 movie by the title: Gaslight. The entire plot is centered around Gregory and Paula. Gregory subtly pushes Paula to insanity by moving objects around, creating unexplained noises and dismisses them as her imagination. As Paula's anxiety gets worse, Gregory manipulates her into believing that she is losing her mind.
So many people throw that term around these days and misunderstand what it truly is. Just because two people have a disagreement doesn't mean you are gaslighting each other.
True Gaslighting is A Husband who takes care fixing everything at the house and she says he never helps. OR A girlfriend who refuses to admit that she hit her partner in the face even though there is a police report on her. She is the queen of gaslighting.
We all know that language can change and we adopt terms that describe certain situations. You will have moments in your relationship where the two of you have completely different ideas about reality. With a healthy relationship, healthy couples will keep an open mind and discuss this with a solution focused attitude based on love and respect. A Narcissist won't do that. And remember, if you feel like a patterned narcissist is changing their tune and trying to be solution focused with love, don't buy it. Since they couldn't get what they wanted through coercive ugly tactics, they will "love-bomb you” to get their way instead.
I remember this client well: with bruises on his arms and a bloody lip, she denied hitting him and when showing her the police report, she said "that was all a dream you had." She also told him... "Well everyone argues like that and that's normal for stuff like that to happen."
Wow, right?
Not gonna buy it. To deny physical evidence that a situation occurred is utter narcissistic abuse. That is how pathological narcissists can be. Pretty bat-shit crazy, eh? Narcissists will minimize your feelings and deny something happened. They are the masters of telling you that you are "being too dramatic" or "over-reacting" or are "Too sensitive".
Yet, they continue down this path and twist the absolute truth. They will twist truth, So much so that they make up lies and stories about what happened. They adopt this "revisionist history" and to stab you in the back further, joke about it to all your friends and humiliate you when you are in public. And this non stop.
Crazy making behavior is also at the top of the list of gaslighting. They will make you feel like you are losing your marbles. This is a slow erosion of losing your mind over time. This tactic is like water torture. Water torture is an individual strapped to a chair with one repetitive drop of water dropping on your head at a steady rate.
So many people throw that term around these days and misunderstand what it truly is. Just because two people have a disagreement doesn't mean you are gaslighting each other.
True Gaslighting is A Husband who takes care fixing everything at the house and she says he never helps. OR A girlfriend who refuses to admit that she hit her partner in the face even though there is a police report on her. She is the queen of gaslighting.
We all know that language can change and we adopt terms that describe certain situations. You will have moments in your relationship where the two of you have completely different ideas about reality. With a healthy relationship, healthy couples will keep an open mind and discuss this with a solution focused attitude based on love and respect. A Narcissist won't do that. And remember, if you feel like a patterned narcissist is changing their tune and trying to be solution focused with love, don't buy it. Since they couldn't get what they wanted through coercive ugly tactics, they will "love-bomb you” to get their way instead.
I remember this client well: with bruises on his arms and a bloody lip, she denied hitting him and when showing her the police report, she said "that was all a dream you had." She also told him... "Well everyone argues like that and that's normal for stuff like that to happen."
Wow, right?
Not gonna buy it. To deny physical evidence that a situation occurred is utter narcissistic abuse. That is how pathological narcissists can be. Pretty bat-shit crazy, eh? Narcissists will minimize your feelings and deny something happened. They are the masters of telling you that you are "being too dramatic" or "over-reacting" or are "Too sensitive".
Yet, they continue down this path and twist the absolute truth. They will twist truth, So much so that they make up lies and stories about what happened. They adopt this "revisionist history" and to stab you in the back further, joke about it to all your friends and humiliate you when you are in public. And this non stop.
Crazy making behavior is also at the top of the list of gaslighting. They will make you feel like you are losing your marbles. This is a slow erosion of losing your mind over time. This tactic is like water torture. Water torture is an individual strapped to a chair with one repetitive drop of water dropping on your head at a steady rate.
Over time this causes this causes fear and mental deterioration. Narcissists love to ware a person down over time using all tactics. However, crazy making behavior is the pattern that promotes enough mental torture over time that it leave you utterly devoid of your own self. The pattern of crazy making behavior is so irregular, that you will be constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is a form of coercive control of create obedience to your narcissist long term.
Sadly, this creates isolation. Isolation from friends, family, loved ones. Narcissists may tell you that your closest friends and family are not healthy for you and that you need to stop having relationships with them. Isolation happens across the entire spectrum of domestic abuse. Isolation allows the abuser to keep you locked into their thinking and isolated from any outside source that may help you figure out a way to leave, be emotionally healthy and get out of the abuse.
And when Isolation is in full force. That will make you feel dependent on our abuser --- for EVERYTHING. This creates Co-dependency in the worst fashion. They will make you feel like you need them to survive.
This is a slow erosion of yourself though a period of time. If you wonder how you got to this point, please don't be too hard on yourself. It happens to the best of us. It really does. This truly is like Chinese Water Torture. It's a slow erosion into this kind of coercive control and manipulation. Most people who experience any kind of abuse walk into these situations at least once in a lifetime. I believe the statistic goes something like this: 3 out of 7 individuals on the entire planet will have had what is officially called an "abuse" situation or have experience "abusive tendencies" in a relationship at least once in a lifetime.
What is really scary is that you may be on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse right now...but that also means you may have been on the giving end of it too at one point in your life!
This ties into gaslighting because the Narcissist in your world will make YOU believe that YOU are the narcissist and the problem in your relationship. The next post will be about that topic and why you aren't the Narcissist in your relationship.
How do you stay safe from Gaslighting if you are still with your Narcissist in the same house? Practice being the sexy grey rock that you are. If you want to learn more about Grey-Rock Method, head over to this blogpost on this blog at https://lovemasqueraded.blogspot.com/2023/11/CuttingtheSupply.html
If you think you are being gaslighted, getting help and emotional support is important to keep your sanity. And stay tuned on more content on How to Find Your Way Back from Narcissistic Abuse!
Please head over to the YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/findingyourwayback
Sadly, this creates isolation. Isolation from friends, family, loved ones. Narcissists may tell you that your closest friends and family are not healthy for you and that you need to stop having relationships with them. Isolation happens across the entire spectrum of domestic abuse. Isolation allows the abuser to keep you locked into their thinking and isolated from any outside source that may help you figure out a way to leave, be emotionally healthy and get out of the abuse.
And when Isolation is in full force. That will make you feel dependent on our abuser --- for EVERYTHING. This creates Co-dependency in the worst fashion. They will make you feel like you need them to survive.
This is a slow erosion of yourself though a period of time. If you wonder how you got to this point, please don't be too hard on yourself. It happens to the best of us. It really does. This truly is like Chinese Water Torture. It's a slow erosion into this kind of coercive control and manipulation. Most people who experience any kind of abuse walk into these situations at least once in a lifetime. I believe the statistic goes something like this: 3 out of 7 individuals on the entire planet will have had what is officially called an "abuse" situation or have experience "abusive tendencies" in a relationship at least once in a lifetime.
What is really scary is that you may be on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse right now...but that also means you may have been on the giving end of it too at one point in your life!
This ties into gaslighting because the Narcissist in your world will make YOU believe that YOU are the narcissist and the problem in your relationship. The next post will be about that topic and why you aren't the Narcissist in your relationship.
How do you stay safe from Gaslighting if you are still with your Narcissist in the same house? Practice being the sexy grey rock that you are. If you want to learn more about Grey-Rock Method, head over to this blogpost on this blog at https://lovemasqueraded.blogspot.com/2023/11/CuttingtheSupply.html
If you think you are being gaslighted, getting help and emotional support is important to keep your sanity. And stay tuned on more content on How to Find Your Way Back from Narcissistic Abuse!
Please head over to the YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/findingyourwayback